The Uncharted Journey
I thought I understood it; that I could capture it.
Write it down into the yellowed pages of my diary.
Encase it within small wooden frames on my mantelpiece.
But I didn’t understand it, not really. I still don’t.
All I ever really captured was the vague, blurry outlines of it; the path upon which I continue to walk and all the follies that come with it.
At times my path has been riddled with misfortune and grief. I walked ahead but I always looked back over my shoulder, at the demons who lingered there. They had no obvious form nor were they particularly abrasive in their manner but they were there. I knew they were and I couldn’t, wouldn’t, fully relinquish them. Then, as time drew me forward the gathering darkness behind me descended and they were gone. Shrouded in memory. Buried in the past.
Onto greener pastures did I then roam and slowly I rose up again until I stood tall. My focus was direct and my foundations were strong. I finally knew where I wanted to go and how to get there. I saw no one as I walked, I felt no burden pressing down upon my shoulders, I was liberated from all else and I, was free.
But life’s course never did run smooth. Twists and turns soon emerged and I entered the realm of in-between. The space between past and the fulfilment of ambition. It is here where I currently reside and it is here where I truly, feast on my life.
The terrain here is wild; unmarked and unpredictable. Endless waves of transformation roll in across the shores and everything comes in its rawest form. Oh but how beautiful it all is. To not know what’s around the next bend, to not know who is around the next bend. There is rejection and there is relationship, there is pain and there is pleasure, there is certainty and there is doubt. I do not know which will arise and I do not know when, I just continue to saunter through, learning to appreciate the chaotic parts of you and the chaotic parts of me.
My destination never turns out to be exactly what I expected after a stint in the in-between, regardless of how long I’m there for. Following a series of twists and turns along the way, my perspective continues to change and I too, change.
But, i have a lot more ground to cover in this little life of mine and even though I am in an entirely different place to where I imagined I would be, with different aspirations, different ideas and different circumstances, where I’m heading is so much better than where I’d originally planned.
Just as ambition grows from passion, passion grows from inspiration. And where better can you find inspiration than during an uncharted journey?